4.21.2010

We interrupt the regularly scheduled program...

So many fun and wonderful things have been happening at Casa de Barrios. And I can't wait to share them, but I'm going to take a break from our regular programming for a little while. About 6 months or so ago, Steve and I were asked by our AWESOME Youth Pastor if we would like to go on a mission trip with our Youth this coming summer. Of course, before he could even get the words out of his mouth, we both said yes! So, here we are less than 60 days away from going to Puerto Rico for 8 days to build a house for someone with World Changers. I can not even begin to describe all the emotions running through me right now. I'M SO EXCITED - how could you not be. I get to go somewhere different than I'm accustomed to being, I get to meet all kinds of new people, I get to spread the word of God to others, plus the first weekend we are doing a few fun things before the work begins. But then there's the side of me that's a little nervous. I have felt like God has been tugging at my heart and trying to reveal to me He wants something different for our lifes. And as human nature does, I've not been acting on those tugs. I know He is going to show me something while we are there, I'm just nervous of exactly what He's going to show me. I'm nervous about what changes in our life are going to come from this trip. Steve and I lead a very comfortable life. It may be crazy and non-stop, but it's comfortable. I feel like there's not much that we HAVE to be completely dependant on God for. Don't get me wrong, I know all of our blessings are from the Lord, but I feel like there's just not much we can only attribute towards God alone. Like our income, I KNOW it's from God, but it's really easy to look at it and say WE work hard for the amount we make. I just really feel God is going to have me on my knees bowing to HIS glory when this week is over. I know we are going to see poverty like we have never seen before. We've travelled and we've seen poverty to a degree, but I just don't think we've ever seen what we are about to witness. I definitely think it is going to be an eye opener for us and how we as "Americans" live our lives. I pray this will bring about change in our day to day lives when we return. I guess I should say I'm excited instead of nervous. Because I think there's a lot of both of those emotions. I'm VERY excited to see what God is going to show us, but a little nervous of what that will mean when we get home. I feel like lately I'm sitting on the side of the spiritual road. And I'm sitting there waiting on something while everyone else is passing by. Yes, I LOVE my Jesus and I know He is the reason I get up everyday and the reason I take a breath. I just feel like my life has become a tornado blowing through town and somewhere along the way I lost that fire in my heart that used to be there. I know there are things in my life I need to change in order to spark that fire again. I know it's all my doing and I'VE been the one getting in the way of HIM! So, I've decided to make some changes to get my mind, heart, and soul ready for this AMAZING experience. Steve told me he was going to fast from something to get ready for the trip, and I decided I am going to do the same thing. I thought, and thought, and thought a little more about what it is that would get me ready and then God really let me have it. All these emotions running around inside of me are there because of one thing - I'm not ready to be uncomfortable! I'm not talking about the bugs, the showers, the sleeping arrangements, the list could go on....I'm talking about I'm not ready to change MY habits. I like the fact if I see something I want, I can go buy it (well, within reason). And I normally do. I might save up for it or try to find a coupon for it, but I end up with it. Not anymore! I'm making that change! So, until we go to Puerto Rico, I will not be shopping. That's right - you heard it here! I will not be buying anything unless it happens to be groceries, and even then, we will be sticking strictly to the list. My whole thinking on this is the fact that we are going to be building a house for someone who doesn't have one, they don't get to go buy an Ipod when they want, they don't get to go buy new clothes when they are feeling down, they don't get to have their hair done every 6 weeks, and the list continues... And one thing I've always wanted to do was memorize scripture. Not just to recite it in a competition. But to tuck it away in my heart so that when I need it, it's there waiting. So, I'm going to take time each day to write a little in my journal of my plans, my feelings, my fears and anything else God brings to my mind. And along with it, I will memorize scripture to go along with those feelings, thoughts, etc. Today's verse is Matthew 28:18-19 Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth have been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nation, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. Just did that from memory!!! Yay! Please don't leave negative comments. I normally don't really care, but this is a really personal thing and I'm really using this as a way to documents my thoughts and really my prayers. Love you all!

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